An excerpt from Susie’s book of the same name (©2005)

Playing Solitaire With God

I‘m not sure it’s so unreasonable

to be here at three am, my companion

the ticking of the clock, better than

the thundering of my heart.

…

It’s difficult not calling my Mother.

I know she sits with her cards

and insomnia, as she has done for

so many years; as her mother did.

…

Flap, Flap, card upon card, as stars turn

to birdsong, no sleep until the protective

light of day covers the fear. So familiar

this ritual, comforting.

…

I follow in the slipper steps of the women

before me, unlike them, I know why

the slap of the cards replaces the peace of sleep.

I have spent years trying not to follow them.

But here I sit, slap a seven on an eight,

While a daughter runs her life without

the protection of my control.

…

Slap a black three on a red four, as she grows

away from me and falls into the clenches

of a terrifying city. Red queen, black king,

I know her insomnia. Too young for Solitaire.

…

Still watching TV, no one escapes

the night. Infomercials

and the Ace of Clubs

our closest friends.