Gloria chose to move to a homeless shelter. She was given two meals and a cot.

At five thirty am everyone had breakfast at six am they were on the street until six pm.

She hated the shelter, she didn’t like being thrust out on the street like she was a bum; she didn’t think of herself that way, she just couldn’t get it together. She went to the park. She didn’t sleep well the past few nights, people talking half the night, bad dreams, a combination of stuff that just left her feeling exhausted. Maybe she could sleep under a bush for a while, not too many people around her little corner of the world at that hour. Junkies sleeping it off go deeper into hiding; she just needed to lie down. It was cold at six thirty. All she wore were jeans, a tee shirt and a thin jacket. She had a bag of clothes she found, and made into a pillow, then curled into herself for warmth.

She had found a piece of cardboard that would at least give her a layer between her body and the damp ground. She was just so sleepy.

When she woke up, the sun was in her eyes and there was a warm jacket draped over her small frame. She looked around to see if she was being watched by whoever put the jacket over her. There were a lot of creeps in this world and Gloria had known at least half in this city alone she mused.

As she folded the jacket a note fell out of the pocket. “Hi, my name is Joseph, I live across the street and walk and jog through the park often. Please don’t be frightened, I have been in your situation before and I am just “paying it forward”. Someone helped me once, now I am helping you. I only ask that someday, when you are back on your feet, you too will help out someone in need. I hope you stay warm, although today it looks like you should have no trouble. If you ever need to talk I’ve written my phone number on the back, like I said, I’ve had my share of problems and know sometimes having someone to listen is a pretty good thing.

Gloria stuffed the note back in the pocket, where was this guy? She felt a cross between cared for and stalked.

The only thing she had ever been good at ended in fifth grade. She was a straight—A student until her father walked out and a whole series of men came and went. Then her mother married “the creep.”  Gloria found alcohol could make her feel safe for a little while, she was almost eleven and life went upside down. Her grades plummeted as her alcohol use increased, she was know as “easy and sleazy” by the boys and shunned by all but one girl, her only friend Jessica. That felt like three life times ago; and it might as well have been. The only time she saw her mother was when she needed to beg, borrow and finally steal money while her mom was at work. She did what she had to do as a street women, and that kept her in drugs until she was so sick nobody wanted to go near her. She ended up in that detox place with some kind of infection that kept her there for long enough to clean up and get ready for the next round. Homeless, hopeless, no drugs, no family, no friends; maybe someday she would give this Joseph guy a call. Maybe he was a social worker or something that could get her some cash and food stamps, you never know until you try. She stayed clean so she could sleep at the shelter. They pee tested before you could get in every night.  Even a blunt was too expensive these days; and she was still pretty weak from her time in the hospital. They had her coming in weekly for check ups and harassment about some program so she could get well and stay well. No way was she gonna walk into a lockdown situation, she would rather stay her course; shaky as it may be. She went into the lavatory in the park and cleaned up.

She put on some of the clothes from the bag,  “Damn,” she thought,  “somebody is throwing away perfectly good clothes.  Maybe I can sell some at the thrift shop, get some coin?”  It was something to think about anyway.  

As she walked out of the toilet some girl gawked at her, “What’s her problem?” thought Gloria.

***

Actually the girl was Jessica and she was thrilled to see someone had found her clothes.

She did a double take because the girl reminded her of someone, she just couldn’t place who that some one was. “It’s not anyone from work. Oh well,” she thought, “at least it’s good that a homeless person got the clothes.”

On her lunch break, Jessica went to the drugstore and a different place to eat that was closer to where she had shopped.  Who does she see sitting at the counter but the guy from the laundry room, what did he say his name was? Mike, Bill, Joe that was it. She sat on an empty stool at the counter and gave a little wave. Joseph didn’t see her, she placed her order then went up to him to say hello and re-introduce herself.

“He has such a sweet smile,” she thought; as he looked up in recognition. “Jessica, how are you?  I haven’t seen you since I took you to work that day.”

“Hi Joe, yeah, they had to cut hours, so now I’m on a shorter shift.”

He said he was happy to see someone he knew and thought to himself how she looked better than he had remembered from last time; while she was thinking oh my god he remembered my name, he must like me, and she blushed. Hope rose to that empty hole inside her once more.

***

Belinda made her first meal. She had purchased a chicken pot pie at the supermarket and heated it in her microwave. She was very excited. She took out her plastic place mat, a fork and a glass for milk. She even put a plate on the table even though the pot pie had its own dish; she would be able to use it for cooking something else another time. It was three days till the first of the month, she was about to do her first official job as manager. The thought made her push her dinner aside, she wondered just how long she would last at this too good to be true home? By the time she ate her pot pie it was cold and the milk was warm. The old woman who trained her said a first grader could do the job, Belinda thought to herself, “She’s not far off.”  After her less than wonderful meal she noticed it was still light outside, maybe she would go for a walk, maybe she would see Grace again. Hope started rising inside her once more as she pushed the coming days to the back of her thoughts.

***

Gloria was hungry. The shelter gave out vouchers for a meal at a church that fed you—if you lined up before it was all gone. The voucher group got to go ahead of the others, which pissed a whole lot of people off; but hey, they didn’t have to stay clean and sober did they, she earned her way in. She got a sack lunch; she looked inside to make sure there was stuff to eat and shuffled off to go sit in the privacy of her bush in the park. It was strange, but having that bush to go to gave her a sense of security. She was pretty sure no one would bug her at least not junkies, it was too exposed for them. Maybe a cop would make her leave, but she looked respectable in her clothes, nah, nobody would bother her today and who knows, maybe jacket guy will come along.

***

Grace sighed, she was bone tired. Fixing her husband’s meals had never been a problem when he was able to get around on his own. Now he had the shakes so bad she had to feed him. Yesterday the doctor said it was time for him to go to a skilled care facility. Even though he hardly had any flesh on his bones, he was too heavy for Grace to manage. Most of the time he was so far away he didn’t even know who she was; the doctor said he could linger like this for years; it was time. He told her he would have someone call her to arrange everything. He fell asleep while she was feeding him, food drooling down the corner of his mouth; getting caught on the stubble she couldn’t get with the shaver. Yes, Grace was bone tired. She cleaned him up best she could, checked to see if he needed clean diapers, and thanked heaven it was only a little moist.  She picked up the tray and left the room.

The nice lady that called had arranged for him to go into a small facility not too far from where she lived, so she could walk to see him everyday if she wanted. Everything was covered by his senior health benefits and what wasn’t the county would pay for, it wouldn’t cost her a penny. Grace would pay alright, not anything money would cover. Grace was having her best friend leave. No matter these last three months he had gone down so fast, at least he was near enough to comfort her, just being in the next room was enough to give her a sense of purpose and safety.

***

Gloria pinched a magazine from a dentist’s waiting room on her way to the park. The best she could grab was an old “National Geographic”. She needed something to do till the six o’clock re- opening of the shelter. Actually, you line up around five to get a decent bed and meal; you learn that after about two days. Tomorrow hopefully would be her final check up at the clinic, that would be the end of that routine. Then what? She needed a job; maybe somebody at the shelter could give her an idea how to do that. The only work she ever did, besides selling herself that is, was helping take inventory in a supermarket. It was an all night job and they just wanted living bodies to lift boxes and move stuff. It was just before she was too sick to stand up. She needed money for the rent, and then blew it on the bag that almost killed her. Maybe she could work at the thrift store attached to the shelter; they probably didn’t pay much, it helps support the free shelter, but it might work out. She would ask at check-in tonight.

***

Joe and the old man were out for his afternoon stroll. Maybe Gramps could find a good chess game, or just enjoy the fresh air. The old man was happy to be with Joseph again; His favorite grandchild, he was a nice kid, clean cut. He knew Joe had served time for selling, but it could have been worse.  The old man remembered when the sex offender moved in with him, more like in-on-him; using the old guys place to bring his prey. He finally had to call 911 to get rid of him. He was gun shy for years after that one.

The old man was disowned by his, upper middle class—righteously religious, family when he discovered who he was. He remembered as if it were yesterday. He was “found out” and expelled from the prep school he attended just three months before he was to graduate. He was supposed to attend the same university all the men in his family had graduated from; since his great grandfather’s time.

But instead, barely eighteen, he received the telegram the day he was expelled.  “Do not come back to this family—stop  We will tell anyone that asks that you enlisted—stop  As far as this family is concerned you are deceased—stop.”

He was shaken to his core, and the very next day, enlisted in the United States Navy. He saw the world and when his term of enlistment was up he re-enlisted. He was a good man for the Navy and the Navy was good to him. He was trained and finally sent to college to learn engineering. Yes, the navy was good to him. He stayed as long as they would let him; and at 38 years of age had an excellent retirement and a career he could use anywhere in the world.

The old man didn’t go too far. He kept his job doing just what he always did, except he worked as an engineer with a prestigious company that had a very nice contract with the federal government. He and his partner of 30 years had a wonderful life of theater, concerts, travel, good wine and great restaurants. When his partner died six years ago, he was beside himself with grief. They had many friends of course, but most of them were gone too. So here was an old homosexual man, with lots of money and no one to spend it with.

Joseph felt like the son he never had.  He reminded the old man of himself, both black sheep.  He was jolted out of his thoughts when he realized Joseph was speaking to him.

“Perhaps we should head back; maybe it’s time for a nap”.

The old man sighed and muttered simply, “I think you’re right.”